Wednesday, 29 October 2014

The Art of Bragging....

When it comes to bragging, there can be a thin line between singing one's praises and being downright conceited. There, I said it!


I am all for singing one's praises because I feel it is our right. Having worked hard and persevered to accomplish something, it is only natural that we would want to celebrate. After all, if we don't shout it from the rooftops how is the world going to learn of our accomplishments? How is our light going to shine if it is kept hidden under a bushel (to steal from the Bible). Most importantly, how are others going to learn from our good example? I reckon not doing that would be a sin against humanity. You've got to display those good deeds for all to see and emulate. 

But here’s what has become apparent to me over the years. You face a real danger of 'pissing' some people off when you brag. I don't need to remind you about how the green-eyed monster operates. It will despise you for your success, and would rather you kept your achievements to yourself. This is the reason we now have the commonly used word ‘hater’. Some prefer to call them naysayers. What it all boils down to is that when we brag others will gag!

One day as I was having a symbiotic conversation with someone about our current pursuits, the interaction became one sided. The other person became more and more condescending the more they implied that they were better than me. Well, it could've been unintentional, but it sure felt that way to me. So you can imagine how annoyed and unimpressed I was by that. But upon reflection, I realised that that all this person lacked was tact. They genuinely were proud of their accomplishments and quite rightly so, but they just hadn't mastered the art of bragging without putting a choke on it. So I began to ponder on the way in which one can indeed brag without making others gag? Well, I’ve got a few suggestions.


a)   If you’re going to brag then do it within context. Know your audience and stick to the subject at hand. You’re allowed to mention some things in passing if it drives a point home, but let it be the end of it. Only dwell on it if others ask you to, which brings me to the next point.

b)   Let others brag for you. And when they do point out the good that you've done, graciously acknowledge and accept their compliments by thanking them. After all they are your accomplishments and you deserve the recognition.

c)    Strike the right balance when you brag. Usually accomplishments come after a few failures, rejections, resistance and so on. Don’t make out like you’re superhuman. Painting a different picture will only undermine your hard work, the effort and determination you would've put into it. Showing that you've beaten the odds will encourage others too!

So, my dear friends, by all means do brag. It’s your right. You've worked hard to get to that place and you owe it to others to teach them how it’s done. But for goodness sake, don't alienate those around you. Humility goes a long way.



4 comments:

  1. My beautiful Bertha,

    I enjoyed reading your article. There is one part that I would like to make a comment on.

    "One day as I was having a symbiotic conversation with someone about our current pursuits, the interaction became one sided, as the other person became more and more condescending implying how better than me they were. Well, it felt that way to me."

    We cannot control how people act. People are who they are.What we can control is our own emotions and actions. The fact that this person was going out of their way to be condescending shows their character. What worries me is that this affected your emotional state. This was their intention, and it worked. You FELT something, and it was not a good feeling. This person obviously feels threatened in someway by your success and felt the need to inflate their own.

    I hope that I have allowed you to look at that situation in a different way. People who try to make you feel inferior are usually threatened. When this happens in the future, take note and realize that you have the power in that situation, not them.

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  2. Thank you so much. I actually wasn't looking at it like that at all, and I have to say you have opened my eyes and provoked my thinking. You are right it did affect my emotional state and I should've realised that that was their intention. And thanks for saying 'feels threatened ...by your success....' That's very kind of you. Thank you

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