Don’t be alarmed but it offends me that you think I am offended when you
call me what I am…BLACK
I have contemplated writing about this subject for quite some time now
but have put it off because I didn't think it was necessary living in the
twenty first century. Then something happened which gave me a little nudge.
One day as I was having an interesting discussion with a friend, it occurred
to me that they felt they could not describe a black person as that - black!
The discussion we were having was such that they needed to be explicit in order
to drive a point home, but when it came down to it they couldn't describe the
person in the way they needed to so as to keep the conversation flowing. For
the sake of being politically correct they tip toed and meandered, throwing
words like coloured, brown, from Africa and so on. Although I understood, I
could not help but feel a volcano brewing inside me, so in the end I had
to say it for them - BLACK. Immediately, I could see the relief sweeping across
their face. 'Blackk' was better coming from my mouth rather than theirs, so
they thought.
Well, excuse me!
Don't get me wrong; I am not naive, neither am I ignorant of the history
behind the prejudices, the need to be politically correct, slavery issues, the
whole enchilada! I also realise that it works both ways as some of my black
brothers and sisters play the race card every chance they get which scares the
hell out of those not black. Some simply do not want to be identified as such
and are offended when they are called black. They may not say it out loud but
it shows on their faces the moment the word 'black' is uttered. But why is
that, I find myself asking.
Let's look at this for a minute, shall we? Doesn't it mean that the
person who thinks that it offends me for them to call me black is showing me
just how prejudiced they are? Are they in fact not telling me that there is
something wrong with my being black? And if you're the black person taking
offence just because someone has called you black, doesn't that imply that you
haven't fully embraced your blackness? What is it exactly that you think is
wrong with you being black?
It saddens me that every day I have to remind my daughter that she is
just as beautiful and precious as her white Caucasian best friend. Her friend
has never said or done anything to make her feel that she isn't lovely, but she
as a child she can't help notice that she is different. As a mother it is not
only important for me to tell her that there is nothing wrong with being
the way she is, but to live what I say. How can she believe and
embrace what I say if it is apparent, through my actions or otherwise,
that I don't in fact believe my own words?
I have to admit that the issue of blackness can be a very touchy subject
especially for sisters out there. I will admit, I have the occasional
braids, extensions but like most sisters out there, it is because it saves time
in the morning when we have to rush to work, is easier to manage and because I
simply get bored very easily wearing the same hairstyle every day. But when my
hair is out I also should be able to wear it with pride because it is
beautiful the way it is. As a mother that is what I want my daughter to
understand.
I have read Maya Angelou's 'I Know Why The Caged Birds Sing' and I
have to say that I cringed when I read some parts where she talks about some of
the derogatory terms that were used to describe black people. But I have to say
that it has been a breath of fresh air to note that more and more people,
especially women, have embraced the natural black look to the extend of
appearing on the covers of some glossy magazines.
I believe that it takes a certain degree of understanding,
intelligence and maturity if you like to reach a stage where you realise
that there is nothing at all wrong with being different. In fact different, in
my book, is good. Imagine a world where everything looks the same, tastes the
same and behaves the same. How boring. I would like to think that it is
our differences that make life exciting and fascinating.
If someone doesn't accept you for who you are then isn't it fair
to say that they are not worth your time anyway? I also believe that it is only
when we embrace what and who we really are first that others can do the
same. How can we expect someone else to love and appreciate the real you when
you don't like yourself? It is an impossible task, I think.
That is why I say that it offends me when you think that I am
offended to be called what I am....A BLACK LADY!
Stay cool out there!
